We are all told that we need more self care in our lives. But between the Instagram people that spend all day organizing their food and taking pictures  to the super moms that do it all. We have been getting a pretty messed up image of what self care looks like.

Really quickly, let’s define what self care is not.

• Its not a way to compete with others
• It should not be done just so you have something to post on social media
• It needs to refuel your own cup not others
• It doesn’t have to cost money

What lead me for the past year on a deep and soulful self care journey as that I was tired of always bouncing from tons of energy to exhaustion. I knew it wasnt sustainable to be all over the place. It made me look like a flake. Or even worse I got the responses from people that I was doing so much, its expected to be burned out. No one told me how to slow down.

We are in a society that REWARDS accomplishments, growth and progress.  And, to be honest I had gotten hooked on getting the praise from others or even the admiration that I was accomplishing so much. But late at night, instead of focusing on family time. I was thinking of ways that I could one up my self. How could I create more? How could I grow more? How could I get more praise from others?

So here are my top 3 self care tips to help you transition from the roller coaster of achievement and burn out. (And yes, it’s only stuff that I have practiced )

1. Self Care can be simple. Think a good book and no distractions. Or playing with your dogs. Or taking a tub bath.
2. Self Care is something that we need to be focusing on each day. Not just once in a blue moon. It doesnt have to take long, even five minutes counts.
3. Self Care need to make you feel good.   Like just came from the spa good, or had a person pay for your favorite meal as a surprise good.

I will give you a world of advice. Regardless that self care is something that is needed to help you avoided the roller coaster of chasing success. It’s also the easiest thing to ignore. I can’t tell you how many times I said that I would take care of my self after I checked off one more thing on my list. That I was stay up just one more night and get caught up. That being tire the next day would be worth it because I would finally be ahead.

But those were lies that society and my culture had told me.  It has engrained that I can’t make money or build a big profitable business without burn out. It’s required to feel tired 80% of the time, because that’s what entrepreneurs do. That it’s ok to work like a mad woman 6.5 days a week and then crash the remaining 0.5.

But let me let you in on a little secret. They are full of shit!  That stuff never worked long term for me. Yes, I had short term bouts of success durning those sprints. But I also was severely depressed. I was seeing a psychologist for months at a time to try and keep it together. I would shake like a dog when ever I couldn’t take it anymore. My anxiety went through the roof. I fought with my husband more than normal.  Riding that roller coaster was not worth it.

Instead the smart, sexy and non burn out way to create the long last succes I want takes vision. It takes divorcing the short term for the long term. It takes planning and acting like an adult that can wait for the results, vs being a child that wants everything now. It take patience and it takes loving my self more than almost anyone else I know.

Tell me in the comments below three self care tools your going to implement in your week.