in my last post I talked about why you need more money. I hope that this post made you think. This is an idea that I have been playing around with for a while now.  Its been a good three years that I have had this thought in the back of my head that I could be successful working for my self and have an abundance of money coming in to one day stay home with my future kids and actually believed it. I was told by well meaning people that I could still have kids and not be a stay at home mom. To me that idea broke my heart. I dont want to have to put them into daycare and have someone else experience their precious memories. I want to be present and experience as much as possible first hand. But I still could not figure out how to go from working at a multitude of corporations to working for my self and making more then enough money.  I have seen others try side business and have them bring in a bit of money. But nothing that I would consider “enough”.  I didnt want to have all this stress on Ben to be the sole bread winner and not be able to financially contribute to the household. I didn’t want to take 10+ years to pay off student loans and our other outstanding debt. I was willing to learn how to hustle and bring in side income, but it seemed that I was better at getting better paying jobs then the side hustle.

So thats what I did. I have been busting my ass to get better paying jobs and take on more responsibility to bring home more bacon.  But about six months ago I realized that I would not be enough. I needed to figure out how to set up my side hustle and work full time. I didn’t want to be forced to go back to school to stave off student loans. I didn’t want to be put in a position that I needed to take a job based on money and not passion. But that was the road I was setting my self up for.  It was like a flash forward and my career was not a pleasant one. If anything I could see myself becoming more and more bitter as time went on and It was no one else’s fault but my own.

I must admit that It has been hard trying to figure out said side hustle. It took me months and looking into different areas to find something that I like. What solidified my side hustle project was reading The Desire Map: A Guide to Creating Goals with Soul.

I had always known what my WHY was.  I wanted to be a wife and mother that could stay home and take care of her family. But I was so lost as to the rest that it made my head spin. I only knew that what I was doing was not working for me and I needed to get in touch with my souls cravings to really understand what type of dream life I wanted to even have a chance in hell of making it happen.

This book pushed me harder then I have ever been pushed before. I brag about how many books I can read and at this moment I have officially read 126 books in just 2014. But there would be nights that I could not get through a chapter in the book because it made my head hurt. The book is designed to get deep and soulful and really make you think about what you want in the most loving way possible. And thats exactly what it did.

One thing that I didn’t expect was to  rediscovered my passion for success and creating. Something that has seemed to slip away from me the older I get. I also made sure to look at my future side hustle with the eye of what I wanted my core desire feelings to be. If it could not pass those standards then it was not even an option.

My WHY became a much clearer picture then this hazy fairy tail that has lived in my head. I finally felt that I could put a road map to go from taking my side hustle to making it my full time hustle. What helped me the most was the confidence that It gave me. I have always like to follow a plan that is defined by others. I am a road map kind of gal and it has been a bit of a transition to go from a clear and cut list of directions to not knowing the answer.

I also stated looking at my life through the lenses of my core desire feelings and If it didn’t line up with them then they were out.  There has been a lot of small tweaks that have happened over the last two months because of this book and I am so grateful for the clarity it brought me. No matter how much I try, life is messy and that always use to bother me. But now I can look at that mess a different way. I dont care too much about being so cookie cutter on things as long as they align with those core desire feelings listed above. It feels like it helped me finally take a full breath and unclench. When I never felt relaxed before and always felt guilty for doing ANYTHING that wants planned and scheduled to death, even relaxing.  If anything from above stands out to you, my suggestion is to read the book, do the exercises, think, pray, meditate and even cry over it a bit. Its amazing and the clarity is a very powerful tool to help you make the changes we all so desire in our lives.