Wouldn’t it be nice to no longer be the person that is always helping someone else. But never gets the same level of help in return.
Instead of bringing your art to life. Your thoughts, opinions and own desires get put on the back burner. Most of the time, its because you are so busy helping other people that you loose track of your own desires.
You tell yourself:
- You can get to building the business tomorrow.
- Next weekend will be the perfect time to do it ALL. Because the house should be empty then.
- If you just wake up early enough, then you will finally have the time for yourself.
But we all know that’s not true. And even if it does work, once in a blue moon. It doesn’t lead to consistent change.
The only way you will get your needs met and stop being a chronic helper is to have boundaries. Which means telling people no.
Now, I kinda hate confrontation. It make me itchy, want to throw up and overthink things for the next few days at least. That’s if I end up going through with the “fight”, and saying the things. Its even worst in my head if I just simmer and say nothing.
The real reason most of us, myself included, are chronic helpers. Is because it’s easier to help solve someone else problems, than our own.
Because that would mean showing up and possibly getting rejected. Or worst hearing nothing and feeling like you are talking into a void.
That would mean time away from family or taking pto to actually bet on yourself, dreams, and ideas.
So how do we get into the habit of putting our self on the menu too? My two answers are structure and boundaries.
But, there is a difference between structure and boundaries. Structure is the habit, routine or rhythm that your life follows.
It looks like you always getting a bit of work in at 6 am. Because that is when the muse is knocking on the door. Not because that’s what someone told you to do.
Vs boundaries is knowing when your calendar is full. While, making sure that you are on that calendar too.
Which looks like making sure that you take a bit of time each day. Regardless of the time, to actually move your own ideas forward. It means pushing publish, sending the pitch email.
Being willing to talk into the void so that you muse knows your serious about change.
I have tired a ton of variations of this before I came out with a clean road map a few months ago.
I talk about this and how to build that road map in Audio 2: Road map for what you’re trying to achieve. Its also a fun and downloadable pdf in the bonus part of the course.
It was the fastest way to get clear on what to bring to life. So that you can finally bring your own ideas and dreams to life too. Which means you will actually know what to say yes or no to. While still being there for others.