You were always told to be a learner. You have gone and done everything that was right according to society. You checked off all the marks. You got a good corporate job. And yet everything still felt disappointing. You didn’t have that passion for your day job that you thought you would.

And so that inspired you to find a hobby. Then everyone said why not make money from your hobby. You already have so much student loan debt just sitting there, it would be a nice way to pay that off a little bit sooner. So you sat down and started trying to monetize your hobby. But it wasn’t going as fast as it needed to.

So you started taking courses. It started out with free courses to improve your skills. Then you started paying for eBooks and programs that were the cost of a few coffees. You didn’t think anything of it. Of course you’re going to sacrifice your Starbucks to build a better business.

And boy did it feel good to do something that was productive. You were learning and that’s what successful people do. Because that’s what INC & Forbes are telling you in their interviews with mega stars. They are always learning and that’s what you would do too.

Then three years went by and you are still at square one. You haven’t launched that program. You haven’t launched that book. You didn’t expand your client base unless it was a happy referral. You didn’t create your YouTube and snapchat videos.

You didn’t create anything. You just consumed. You spend hours on YouTube learning talents that can better your business but didn’t implement them. You have spent hundreds of dollars investing in courses to get you ahead of the game. But they never worked since you were never in the game to begin with.

Heck, you even started noticing that you weren’t making any progress about a year ago. You got the come to Jesus meeting from your love ones and they told you to actually do something. But you were too scared. Every time you got rejected or afraid, you went back into learning mode.

But at night you still dream of creating that program and building that business. You dream of getting out of debt and changing your family’s lives. So as you lie in bed. You tell yourself, tomorrow will be the day. You’ll wake up early and take on the world! Then tomorrow comes and your life is just as crazy as it was before and nothing changes. So you get scared and look online again for another course or shortcut to get where your dreams are.

I know because that’s what I have been doing for the past 6 years. Regardless that I have been working 40+ hours a week since I was 18. I used college as an excuse. I was afraid to create, so I just consumed. Then when college ended and I looked at my student loans and I was terrified. They didn’t even represent anything I valued. I didn’t make amazing friends. I was too busy working in corporate. I didn’t learn something that changed my career. Those moments always come from on the job training and real-life mentors. It was a $50k mistake and a place to hide.

And ever since I graduated with my Bachelors, I have figured out ways to hid and not create every day since. I upped my book reading quota to 300 a year. I took courses to better my self, both free and paid. I listened to an ungodly amount of YouTube and podcast to sharpen my skills. But I still didn’t create.

What changed was listening to a podcast on creative live with Gary Vanerchuck. It was the second video I was listening to for the day already. I using it to pump myself up and He started talking about people complaining.

I don’t even remember the exact wording. But he was talking about the fact that we all need to stop bitching and start creating. That we need to put down the games of thrones and Facebook and start doing something. Every day we need to create.

Now I have heard this in the past and of course I didn’t think it applied to me. I didn’t watch that much TV, I had scaled back on my reading. I generally thought that there wasn’t much I could scale back on. Then it hit me. Oh, but I listen to 10 hours of YouTube a day. I read other peoples updated and participating in Facebook groups. I read 5 books a time and talk about them to everyone.

Instead of creating. I am doing everything I could again to not create. I had replaced college with books and programs and courses and gave into my fear.

My fear that if I tried something I would fail.

My fear that I wont be loved if I failed.

My fear that I would put my family into more debt if I failed.

My fear that I’m not worthy enough to succeed.

I’m going to reduce my consumption and push out creation. And that doesn’t mean doing more homework for the B-School program I’m in.

Instead.

Every time I want to consume a YouTube video. I need to publish a blog post first. Every time I want to take a course, I need to create 5 videos first. I am going to force myself to create before I consume and I’m terrified.

But I also know that I’m not happy where my business is. I know that I’m not happy living with the same stale dreams and saying I’ll do them next year. I know that somethings got to change. That I have to change.

I have to become one with fear. I have to create until I’m blue in the face. I need to finally stop escaping and produce.