I have been doing a lot of thinking and soul-searching the past couple of weeks. That’s part of the reason why I have been not posting 100% consistently. A lot of it came from the fact that I felt like I was always on the go.

I was putting way too much pressure on myself to achieve things in unrealistic timeline. I am the epitome of I want it now. But even though I knew it in the back of my head it wasn’t considering the cost then I was paying for getting it now. I’ve written in the past of taking care of yourself and how to do little things so that you’re not overwhelmed. But at the same time if you are always fitting in these little caveat so that you can keep up with an extremely hectic life you’re not going to get anywhere fast.

One of the things that really drove this home for me was when Ben and I went on vacation. I was like a maniac trying to download ebooks and get everything ready before the vacation. I was a hot mess. But I was so excited. One of the biggest things that I learned while on vacation was I do way way too much. The entire vacation I did not drink one cup of coffee. And for me that is huge since I am a Starbucks addict.

It was extremely easy to not drink coffee because every single night I was getting a great night sleep by making sure I actually slept and woke up when I was not tired anymore. Not by setting an alarm. And that made it much easier for me to not drink coffee. When my at home habit to try and wake up sleep deprived and slam coffee the rest of the day to stay awake. The other thing that I realized was that I was not on social media at all being in the middle of the ocean. This cut down a ton on a lot of the mindless reading of status updates and possible post that I was doing. It also made sure that I couldn’t check out a lot of random blogs. It basically made it so that I could only read, eat or sleep.

And then it was exactly what I needed. It made it so much easier for me to spend time really good quality time with ben. It wasn’t just sitting on the couch with him after dinner while we both played on our phones and watch TV. But instead our phones were away and we were watching movies together. We would also get up before going to bed and take a little midnight stroll. An amazing time for us to bond with out devices.Yet again another activity that did not involve an electronic device.

I came back realizing that if I keep up with my insanely hectic schedule of always wanting to get things done on my timeline and force them ahead of when they should be done, via the karma gods, then I’m going to basically give myself a heart attack.

And the sad part is it’s all going to be stress that I put on myself. One of the ways that I’m going to try to get back into my cruise mindset of incorporating vast amount of open space into my day is to remove my social media from my phone again. I go through this phase all the time and I eventually go back on and put it on my phone. But I also noticed that when I take it off of my phone I make it a lot easier to not do a lot of mindless status checking. Another way that I’m going to make my life a little bit more peaceful is to take any type of reading apps and just put them on my tablet. I use my tablet all the time for reading but it’s also a really easy way for me to separate my cell phone and my mindless habit of reading and multitasking from actually reading and paying attention to what I am working on. I’m even going to try to start drinking hot cocoa or tea in morning instead of coffee. This way I’m not just mindlessly putting in a lot of caffeine in my system.

All of the things I just listed may seem like they are just personal self-improvement goals. But it’s actually marriage improvement goals. We all know that when we are on vacation we are normally are most amazing self. We’re relaxed, we’re fun, we’re carefree and maybe even a bit sexy. But when we come home we go back home we go back to multitasking way too much. And ignoring the things that matter most our spouse, family and friends. You’re not going to build a better marriage by being on Facebook any longer than you already are. If anything you might build a better marriage by taking Facebook off your phone. Instead of playing on your phone or on your laptop on your tablet spend time with your husband. Figure out how to have amazing conversation again. Try something new. Or even just watch a movie together. The more quality time you spend together the stronger your relationship will be. The more quality time you spend together the less you will argue. Your husband, friends, family deserve your full attention. Put down your cell phone set up an app so that you don’t get notifications pass a certain time. But do something to change a bad habit. Your body mind and relationship will thank you.